Prayer Request Time
As someone who has attended church for over thirty years, I have lots of experience with prayer request time. When my husband and I were first asked to lead a home group, I had a mental list of “Things we will not do in the women’s time.” I quickly felt convicted by this mindset. Instead, I prayed and asked the Holy Spirit how I should view the accountability/prayer request time that I was going to be stewarding. As I prayed, I saw a picture of myself decorating a room to get it ready for something. I was dusting, hanging decorations, adjusting lighting and setting the mood it seemed. When I prayed and asked God what this vision meant, I felt like he told me this was my job- I was to create an atmosphere of what HE wanted that time to be and that I couldn’t MAKE the women “do this” or “not do that.” Instead, he wanted to work with me to create an atmosphere with three goals:
Creating a safe place to confess sin
Creating a place where we are accountable for our personal walks with the LORD in study of the word, prayer and church attendance
A place to pray for one another
Create the Atmosphere
So each week before the group, I would go to the room where we would meet and I would pray over the room. I wouldn’t ask “Lord, please don’t let people gossip or please don’t let people just ask for prayer for the aunt’s co-workers foot.” Instead, I would pray and invite the spirit into the room and ask for him to direct our time.
Then, I would start our time in prayer and outline to the group my three goals stated above, while also sharing how I had prayerfully considered what our goals should be for our time together. I asked that they would prayerfully consider how to help create this atmosphere. I had to share this regularly for a few months each week at the beginning. Then, as each person took turns sharing I prayed A LOT- for the person speaking as well as those listening.
Set the Time
I am a stickler for time. We’ve got three kids and we need to end on time. Setting the time also serves as a good reminder for people to learn not to ramble, but to make the most of what time you have. Therefore, I am intentional with the time. I usually state, “we will end at 7:25 so we can timely relieve the babysitter.”
Ground Rules
I tried to share these for the first few months at the start of our semester and then anytime someone new joined.
“Don’t talk about fight club”- No, but seriously… Gossip is destructive and what is shared in this group stays in this group. It is important that you honor one another and not gossip.
If you feel like you want to “speak in” or give advice to someone, please do it outside of our group time. We want to allow everyone time to share.
When you are sharing, talk about YOU. It isn’t that we don't care about others, it is that this time is specifically for us to grow together- we can share other things after group.
Questions
If you haven’t guessed so far, I like structure. If
you are organic and “go with the flow,” you can take these things and work them in. I like to provide structure, but I am flexible if the Spirit leads somewhere or if we need to stop and pray for someone.
What I did for our group was try to ask a question that led the participants into discussing their personal weekly experience within the 3 goals above. For example:
Is there any sin struggle that felt unconquerable this week?
What did the LORD show you in your study of the word and prayer time this week?
What is something you can praise the LORD for this week?
Prayer
I like to save about 10 minutes for prayer at the end of the one hour time we had and there are a few ways to do this:
Pray for everyone on your left
Pray for whoever you want and let’s try to pray for everyone
Split up in partners and pray for one another
When something big is happening, I like for all lay hands on the person for whom we are praying
Correction
Correcting others is something that I have never loved to do- probably out of my “fear of man,” I am afraid of making someone upset at me and so I don’t like to correct. However, in scripture, we see examples of correction. Paul reminded us to bear with one another and confront sin. I feel like when we are leading groups, it is important that we very prayerfully consider how to call others out and when to do it. I am going to give an example, however, I want you to talk to the Spirit about how these things will play out in the moment for you.
The Bad Marriage.
Lucy was in a bad marriage and had many real problems with her husband. And she was right- her husband was mistreating her, but in our small group, the time quickly filled with lists of everything her husband was doing wrong. Mary was the home group leader and the first week that Lucy “vented” about her husband, she pulled her aside afterwards and asked if she could pray for her. After praying, she told Lucy that she was so sorry for the way Lucy’s husband was treating her. Mary then asked her to consider a way to share about her husband that would honor him. That it is important for her to share, but wanted to make sure that she could focus on her own sin and response to her bad treatment instead of on her husband's list of sins. Lucy received this well and says she will try. For a month, Lucy does a great job of sharing in a healthy way and confessing her own sin of bitterness etc. Then, there was a crisis in their marriage and she felt hurt so she started venting passionately about her husband. Mary let her talk and prayed. Lucy shared and then after about 5 minutes, Mary said to the group, “Lucy I am so sorry about this, it stinks and I hate that it is happening. I think we should stop and pray for your husband. Will you please pray for your husband and we will all pray in agreement with your prayer.” This stunned Lucy, you could tell in her face that she wanted to keep talking about all her husbands sins. However, Lucy agreed and prayed. This happened the following week, and again, Mary had her pray. Finally, the crisis calmed and Lucy went back to sharing the appropriate amount in group. But something else happened- Lucy’s husband changed! I mean, 180 turn in the other direction- I have complete confidence that God heard the prayers of the group and answered Lucy’s prayers- soon she was sharing praises about her marriage instead of complaints. This is the goal of prayer requests- to see God move!
As the leader it is our job to lead the group in the appropriate way to confess and pray. If something is heavy on your heart that happens during this time remember that you as the leader are responsible for the examples given during this time. Be bold but be kind.
The Summary
At the end of the day, all you can do is prepare the room and prepare your heart. If you are hopeful and prayerful that God will use the time of confession and accountability to encourage and serve the ladies you are leading, then you will communicate that with your attitude and in your prayers over the group. All to say- you lead. Lead with passion, lead with confessing your sin and with rejoicing in what God is doing in your life! This time can be extremely powerful like we saw with Mary and Lucy- praying together comes with a promise in scripture cash on this promise!
Here are some verses to dwell on as you seek God in this pursuit:
James 5:16 (ESV )
Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.
Matthew 18:19-20 (ESV)
Again I say to you, if two of you agree on earth about anything they ask, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them.”
2 Chronicles 7:14 (ESV)
If my people who are called by my name humble themselves, and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and heal their land.
James 5:14-15 (ESV)
Is anyone among you sick? Let him call for the elders of the church, and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer of faith will save the one who is sick, and the Lord will raise him up. And if he has committed sins, he will be forgiven.
