What I Do When I Sin…
Sin is inevitable. We all do it.
I was reading a book recently about an olympic snowboarder who was teaching a group how to snowboard for the first time. His instruction began in a way that shocked his students because he started with, “the first thing I am going to teach you is how to fall.”
I love this analogy, because I think it can be used in many ways but in the instance of sin, it holds so true- every single one of us will sin. Like it says in Romans 3:23-24 (NLT):
“For everyone has sinned; we all fall short of God's glorious standard.”
Not one of us is exempt- knowing this about us, God has given us some helpful tips when we do miss the mark of perfection. And just like anything God tells us in scripture- he gives us helpful commands and laws to lead us into the fullness of joy and peace here on earth. His laws are for our good. Just like I teach my children not to run into the street because I want to keep them from getting hurt, God gives us suggestions on how to avoid the pain, shame and devastation of sin.
The 6 Steps:
Step 1: Call it Sin
Step 2: Confess to God
Step 3: Apologize without exemptions
Step 4: Receive forgiveness
Step 5: Meditate on truth
Step 6: Watch for a chance to do it right
Step 1: Call it Sin
When we sin, we always have a reason. The first thing we do is start justifying to ourselves why we did what what did, why what we did wasn’t wrong and why we don’t have to apologize or even start to double down with more sin to further prove what we did wasn’t bad.
Do you know what innocent people don't do: everything I just listed above.
When we manipulate the truth in order to inhance someones opinion of us, we lie. Call it a lie.
God even takes it a step further and tells us to do so.
When we look at someone hate, disgust and wish bad things for them, God calls that murder.
What if I can only be forgiven and set free for the sins I call by name? Then, I will confess that drinking two glasses on wine on an empty stomach is debauchery. Hating my neighbor is murder. Worrying about what a new friend, pastor or co-worker thinking of me is idolatry and telling myself how much I stink and how bad I am compared to others is emotionally mistreating a child of God.
There is no benefit in not naming the sin what is is, but there is freedom when we are honest about the sin within.
Proverbs 28:13 (ESV)
“Whoever conceals his transgressions will not prosper, but he who confesses and forsakes them will obtain mercy.”
Step 2: Confess to God
There are two reasons for this:
When we sin, we sin against God.
When we sin, we don’t usually know the full extent of why, how and the affects, but God does.
God is the perfect God of the universe who has adopted us into his family and in his perfection, he can have no association with sin. Sin requires penance and leads to death, but how good is God that he sent his son to die in our place. We are forgiven in full, but when we do sin, we have to run to the God we offended and ask for forgiveness again (and again).
After David sinned by having Uriah killed so he could sleep with his wife and was confronted on the sin, David said;
“Against you (God), you only have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight.” (Psalm 51:4)
I love this verse because it is a reminder that we are sinning against God more than anyone else on earth. When David sinned a man was killed- his sin affected others, but his sin was more than anything, sin against God. So, often when we sin, we worry not about what God thinks but what others think of us and if our sin hurt them. That is not what our concern should be! Our concern should focus on how we sinned against the God of the universe. The awesome thing is though- he promises to forgive us fully, unlike any man we offend!
The second part of our confession to God will help us with step one. Sometimes, we act and are not fully aware of the motivation in our heart when talking to God. David also wrote in Psalm 139:2-5, he said;
“O Lord, you have searched me and known me!
You know when I sit down and when I rise up;
you discern my thoughts from afar.
You search out my path and my lying down
and are acquainted with all my ways.
Even before a word is on my tongue,
behold, O Lord, you know it altogether.”
And in verse 23-24,
“Search me, O God, and know my heart!
Try me and know my thoughts!
And see if there be any grievous way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting!”
God knows us and want to reveal the truth of our heart so we can walk in full freedom and joy.
Step 3: Apologize without Exemptions
I hate/love this step.
There is always a weight leading up to the apology and the relief of getting the apology out. The latter always worth the former. Learning how to apologize and forgive quickly is one of the biggest gifts of my marriage. It is something I am proud that we are good at.
There are two different kinds of apologies:
1. The sin the offended knows.
2. The sin they don’t know.
The first the apology is usually a relief and helps book end the offense so that you can move on. The second is hard because you have to watch the person observe the hurt as you apologize. Both are so powerful and fruitful for a relationship.
Now the part about “without exemptions”...
Exemptions are:
Leaving off part of your sin
Blaming others
Explaining why
Partial denials
You know what they are. They are anything outside of “this is what I did and I am sorry”.
BONUS: Apologizing to another human always carries risk, because you don’t know how they will respond. But, this is the true tell of a person's character. When you offend someone, a healthy person can forgive, see the maturing in your apology and know that they too are a sinner just like you. A toxic person can’t receive an apology, because they are always the victim or the hero. They will heap on the blame and pain of what you did or show themselves as so good and righteous to be so benevolent to forgive you.
How do the people you are close to respond when you apologize?
Step 4: Receive forgiveness
I have a weird desire to earn forgiveness. I want to work to make it right, but that isn’t biblical. You may have to work to earn back trust from someone, but forgiveness from God is promised when we confess and should be true in healthy relationships as well.
1 John 1:9 says,
“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”
And just to firm up steps 1 and 2, this verse is book ended with verse 8,
“If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us.”
and verse 10,
“If we say we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us.”
Just saying…
Step 5: Meditate on truth
Meditation is a new tool for me- one I didn’t realize the power of!
Meditation is just a mental exercise of focusing on one thing to clear out all the other clutter in your mind. We don’t always recognize clutter has built up but once meditation clears it out we can return to a place of peace and clarity. Meditation on truth is taking one name of God, verse or phrase and repeating it over and over to act not only as a broom that cleans out the mind clutter but also to reinforce the foundational beliefs of our faith.
The majority of sin can be linked to one thing- doubt. The doubt of:
The goodness of God
That he is faithful
That he is enough
That what he says about me in enough.
The act of meditation can help us clean out the clutter and doubt that led to sin and set up up to make future decisions on faith and truth instead of doubt.
Step 6: Watch for a Chance to Do it Right
After we feel the wait of sin, it is important to remember to follow the steps above to help us prepare for the next time. There is no other way to relieve a guilty conscious, no other way to be set free, no other way to change than to start with confession and receiving forgiveness. We can grow, mature and change into a more fruitful, loving, productive- you name the adjective- if we just walk out the true journey or confession and forgiveness.
Psalm 32:5 (ESV )
“I acknowledged my sin to you, and I did not cover my iniquity; I said, “I will confess my transgressions to the Lord,” and you forgave the iniquity of my sin.”
James 4:7-10 (ESV )
“Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Be wretched and mourn and weep. Let your laughter be turned to mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will exalt you.”
Acts 3:19 (ESV)
“Repent, then, and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out, that times of refreshing may come from the Lord.”
